After realising that you have a friend that is just a pretender (fake friend), the first thing that comes in mind is how to deal with the situation.
After a friend suggested that I should write on How to get rid of fake friends, I decided to write on How To Identify A Fake Friend first.
Dealing with a fake friend is somehow tricky, as one need a to be very cautious on their approach in order to do it in a very peaceful and quiet manner.
It is very important that you are very sure that the friendship is absolutely fake before you jump into conclusion. My reason for saying that is based on the fact that some people are very shy and therefore, have difficulty in expressing themselves which may lead to some questionable behaviours that could be misinterpreted.
If you have given it a lot of thought and have decided to go ahead, here’s what to do.
CUT OFF ALL BENEFITS
This applies mainly on a friend that is your friend just for a certain benefit that he/she gains from being with you. It could be money, favour, social status and so on.
This is where you need to be careful and smart. A fake friend that always wants something from you will always find a way to twist a situation in their advantage. Instead of going on to deny them the access to what they are benefiting, find yourself an excuse to hide behind. This may sound cowardly or some may see is a lie but I believe it to be a “white lie” which is necessary to get yourself out of a situation that doesn’t benefit you.
Laying maybe difficult to most people especially when you are not used to it. But it’ll be easier when could find a legitimate reason and associate it with the reason you’re denying access. In other words, find a situation in your life that is real but totally unrelated to the material or service that your friend finds the benefit in through you. Use this particular situation to cover up your denial of access to the fake friend.
At this point, the fake friend may end up doing all the break up for you as they no longer get what they want from you. In this case, your mission has been accomplished.
Other fake friends may just start to become a bit distant (distance interms of level of contact) from you, awaiting for the situation of denial to be resolved and then reestablish full relationship. In this situation, my next point shows how to go about it.
MAINTAIN A DISTANT RELATIONSHIP
Maintain in this context doesn’t mean to establish forever but rather on a temporary basis at least until you are ready for my next point. If you read my precious point, I mentioned that the friend may become a bit distance from you, awaiting for the situation of denial to be resolved. If he/she does, keep it that way, and if not then it’s upto to you create it by minimising the level of contact.
Minimising level of contact can be achieved by;
- participating in other activities that doesn’t involve the friend in question
- hanging around other people that makes the friend in question uncomfortable
- lesser conversations
- lesser phone call or text messages
- making yourself scarce to the friend in question
EXPAND THE EXTENT OF DISTANCE TO THE BREAKING POINT
After successfully establishing a distant relationship with less contact, try as much as possible to further reduce the level of contact. Let me explain clearly; if you initially see,call or text each other all the time and then it changes to once a day, try to extend it to once a week, a month and to the extent of no more contact.
Now, if you find yourself with a clingy fake friend, end the friendship face to face. But you can make it easier by;
- Get a meeting point where conversation is private but other people are around
- Plan what to say and have a good reason
- Call them and meet them as planned
- Tell them all you needed to say
- Listen to what they have to say
- Step up ground rules on future encounters
- Finish the conversation
Remember to stick with the ground rules that you have set no matter how hard it is.
That should prepare you on how to get rid of fake friends. Please feel free to like, comment or share. You can also subscribe at the bottom of this page for updates on our new posts.